Nurse McSchwartz
| Gender | Female |
| Hair Color | Pink |
| Occupation | School Nurse |
| Voiced by | Unknown |
Behind the Scenes[edit]
In the unaired pilot version of "Cartman Gets An Anal Probe", the boys have to visit the school nurse to get out of class. The low-pitched, cynical nurse casually treated Pip Pirrup while mouthing that Stan and Kyle faked illnesses all the time. She finally witnessed Eric Cartman's flaming gas and resolved to let the kids go.
Her design was later re-purposed into the new school nurse Mary Gollum, with the addition of a large dead fetus on one side of her head. Her voice was now provided by Mary Kay Bergman and much higher and sweeter, and she was much more caring towards the children. This character was also later retired.
Memorable Quotes[edit]
- "We do NOT say 'shut up' in school!"
- "Shut up Pip."