Editing Eric Cartman (section)

===Life Lessons===
*"Poor people tend to live in clusters." 
*"Drugs are bad because if you do drugs, you're a hippie, and hippie suck."
*"It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration into a woman's separation. This sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation" 
*"I'm gonna spend my whole childhood eating what I want and doin' drugs when I want! WHATEVER! I will do what I want!"
*"Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubble Yum™ Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them" 
*"We're in this together, Craig! If Butters tells on us then we're gonna tell on you. That's the Ninja code!" 
*"These are what we call giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippie usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there's probably a whole lot more you're not seeing" 
*"What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars, cash." *"Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least $8." 
*"Everyone knows that only poor people get lice." 
*"Real guitars are for old people."
*"Okay, our mission failed but we learned a lot. Primarily that girls do not have balls" 
*"Remember Bill Beelicheck. Head coach of the New England Patriots. He's won three Super Bowls. How? He cheated. He even got caught cheating and nobody cared! He proved that in America, it's aright to cheat, as long as you cheat your way to the top" 
*"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it."
*"I'd rather us be Chinese than A NATION OF UNETHICAL DICK SHOOTERS. Think about it" 
*"This just goes to show that hard work doesn't pay off. I'm going to be a homeless drug addict from now on!"
*"Kyle, that's the way the world works! If you wanna find some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first!"
*"Don't ask why Kenny wanted to be a chick, that's just how he seems to be rolling right now."
* "Even if I don't agree with his hateful bigoted thoughts... it doesn't mean I'll stand by while Kyle's intolerance is dealt with violently."
* "Sometimes joking about un-PC things can actually be important, because it starts a dialogue."
*"I guess just because I don't understand [homosexuality], doesn't mean I can't support it."
*"Girls rule, women are funny, get over it."
*"I guess I didn't deserve a second chance."
*"I don't have any friends. I don't know if I ever did."