Editing Eric Cartman (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Memorable Quotes== *"Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs!" ([[Cartman Gets an Anal Probe]]) *"No Kitty, this is MY pot pie!!!" ([[Cartman Gets an Anal Probe]]) *"BEEFCAKE!!" ([[Weight Gain 4000]]) *"I'm not fat! I'm festively plump!" ([[Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo]]) *"I am a COP and you will respect my authoritah!" ([[Chickenlover]]) *"I wasn't saying anything about their culture. I was just saying [[Costa Ricans|their]] city smells like ass." ([[Rainforest Schmainforest]]) *"Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili." ([[Scott Tenorman Must Die]]) *"Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya! I made you eat your par-ents! Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya!" ([[Scott Tenorman Must Die]]) *"Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mmmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet." ([[Scott Tenorman Must Die]]) *"CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!!" ([[Cripple Fight]]) *"There's so much to do at Cartmanlaaaaaand, but you can't come! Especially you, Stan and Kyle." ([[Cartmanland]]) *"Oh si, si, si…" ([[Fat Butt and Pancake Head]]) *"BUT THEY SAID I CANT BE IN THEIR CLUB!" ([[Krazy Kripples]]) *"I'm not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body." ([[Grey Dawn]]) *"And now I will use my powers to turn Kyle into a chicken!" ([[Good Times With Weapons]]) *"I've sometimes looked at people with disabilities as people God put here on earth for my amusement." ([[Up the Down Steroid]]) *"They're not PEOPLE, they're HIPPIES!!!" ([[Die Hippie, Die]]) *"Vote for TURD SANDWICH. This is the MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF YOU LIFE. Turd Sandwich brings the hope for change. A vote for Turd Sandwich is a vote for tomorrow" ([[Douche and Turd]]) *"He's a Jewish Dolphin... A Jewphin." ([[Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina]]) *"HOW DO I REEEEECH THESE KEEEEEDS!?!?!?!?" ([[Eek, A Penis!]]) *"DA FUCK!?" ([[Fatbeard]]) *"Me and Kinny don't give two shits about stupid ass whales!" ([[Whale Whores]]) *"I cannot offer you or your child any CASH. I CAN however... offer you a little bit of crack." ([[Crack Baby Athletic Association]]) *"Uh trust me, [[Eric Cartman|he's]] not fat and unimportant. I think we need to change his status to ripped and sweet." ([[Let Go, Let Gov]]) *"Boooooo. Boo Wendy. Boo Wendy Testaburger. Boo." ([[Informative Murder Porn]]) *"They don't salute in Game of Thrones, Butters." ([[Black Friday]]) *"Boner Balls. B-Boner Forest. Dense Boner Forest." ([[Go Fund Yourself]]) *"Sitting on our asses, here we come!" ([[Go Fund Yourself]]) *"Fuck, I want pancakes..." ([[Gluten Free Ebola]]) *"CARTMAN BRAAAAAH!" ([[REHASH|#REHASH]]) *"Speak Through the hood, KINNY!" ([[REHASH|#REHASH]]) *"Kyle, believe me... I know the struggle with hatred. Let's make ourselves better people... together." ([[Stunning and Brave]]) *"David! David! David!" ([[You're Not Yelping]]) *"I'm now the leader of thousands of people! They all hang on my every word! [softly] And I'm gonna use my power to finally get what this town really needs." ([[You're Not Yelping]]) *"Hey Kyle. You wanna see what people said about my dick pic? Everyone's pretty stoked on it. " ([[Safe Space]]) *"Every time Amy Schumer talks about her vagina, I lose my fucking mind." ([[The Damned]]) *"I don't have any friends. I don't know if I ever did." ([[The Damned]]) *"Do girls not have balls?" ([[The Damned]]) *"Have you met my girlfriend, [[Heidi Turner|Heidi]]? She's really smart, and really funny." ("[[Weiners Out]]") ===Catchphrases=== Cartman has coined a number of memorable and iconic phrases since the show's very first episode that have helped to cement his status as the series' most popular character and a pop culture icon. Since the early second season, they have often appeared in merchandising for the show, and sometimes appear in other media to reference South Park. They are even sometimes used by other characters, like Stan, Kenny, or Clyde. In recent years, Matt and Trey use these phrases much more rarely, but Cartman still uses them on occasion. *"Eh!" *"I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" *"Screw you guys, I'm going home!" *"No kitty! That's a bad kitty!!" *"Seriously, you guys!" or "I'm so seriously!" *"But meeeehm!" *"Kewl." or "That's kewl." *"I'll kick you in the nuts!!" or "I'll kick you squah in the nuts!" (debuted in "[[An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig]]") *"I hate you guys." or "I love you guys." (debuted in "[[Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut]]") *"Respect my authoritah!" or "Respect my authoritay!" (debuted in "[[Chickenlover]]") *"Suck my balls!" (most famously in "[[South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut]]") *"I'll make you eat your parents." (debuted in "[[Scott Tenorman Must Die]]") *"You're breakin' my balls." (debuted in "[[Kenny Dies]]") *"Whatevuh, I do what I want!" (debuted in "[[Freak Strike]]") *"[[Kevin Stoley|Kevin]] godammit." (debuted in "[[The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers]]") *"Oh hey babe, what's going on?" (debuted in [[White People Renovating Houses]]) ===Life Lessons=== *"Poor people tend to live in clusters." *"Drugs are bad because if you do drugs, you're a hippie, and hippie suck." *"It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration into a woman's separation. This sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation" *"I'm gonna spend my whole childhood eating what I want and doin' drugs when I want! WHATEVER! I will do what I want!" *"Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubble Yum™ Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them" *"We're in this together, Craig! If Butters tells on us then we're gonna tell on you. That's the Ninja code!" *"These are what we call giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippie usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there's probably a whole lot more you're not seeing" *"What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars, cash." *"Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least $8." *"Everyone knows that only poor people get lice." *"Real guitars are for old people." *"Okay, our mission failed but we learned a lot. Primarily that girls do not have balls" *"Remember Bill Beelicheck. Head coach of the New England Patriots. He's won three Super Bowls. How? He cheated. He even got caught cheating and nobody cared! He proved that in America, it's aright to cheat, as long as you cheat your way to the top" *"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it." *"I'd rather us be Chinese than A NATION OF UNETHICAL DICK SHOOTERS. Think about it" *"This just goes to show that hard work doesn't pay off. I'm going to be a homeless drug addict from now on!" *"Kyle, that's the way the world works! If you wanna find some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first!" *"Don't ask why Kenny wanted to be a chick, that's just how he seems to be rolling right now." * "Even if I don't agree with his hateful bigoted thoughts... it doesn't mean I'll stand by while Kyle's intolerance is dealt with violently." * "Sometimes joking about un-PC things can actually be important, because it starts a dialogue." *"I guess just because I don't understand [homosexuality], doesn't mean I can't support it." *"Girls rule, women are funny, get over it." *"I guess I didn't deserve a second chance." *"I don't have any friends. I don't know if I ever did." Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)