Editing Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (section)

===Description===
[[Cartman]] is honored with the chance to be [[South Park Elementary]]'s Hall Monitor -- an opportunity which he embraces by morphing himself into a clone of Dog the Bounty Hunter, complete with beard and an ever-present can of bear mace.  Minutes later, he's roaming the hallways, ferociously looking for any acts of "hallway infractions."

He finds one soon enough, in the form of a crayon-scribbled love note from [[Ike]] to his hot kindergarten teacher, [[Ms. Stephenson]]. But it seems that Ike's love is not just one-sided.  

During a montage sequence, we see Ike and Ms. Stephenson having dinner, watching a sunset, and then lying in bed together, disheveled after a round of "incredible sex."

To provide cover for their affair, Ms. Stephenson decides to "tutor" Ike privately at her home.  However, [[Kyle]] quickly discovers what's really going on when he goes to pick up his brother and catches the two lovers taking a bath together.  He's shocked not only by the relationship, but by the fact that Ike is a more-than-willing participant.  Not knowing where to turn, he reports the crime to the police but finds that they're more titillated than concerned.

When Kyle mentions to Cartman that his brother and the teacher often sneak into the hallways to make out (a clear violation of the rules), Cartman jolts to action.  He surprises the couple, maces Ms. Stephenson and drags them to the principal's office.  Outraged, [[Principal Victoria]] alerts the police and the media.

But things don't work out as planned. Most of the town sees Ike not as a victim, but as an extraordinarily lucky little boy. Ike tells Kyle he's "dead to him." And Ms. Stephenson (who blames her behavior on alcoholism) gets an absurdly short stint in rehab before being released.

Once freed she goes immediately to the Broflovski home, takes Ike, and flees with him to the Airport Hilton, where they await a flight to Milan. But Cartman, furious that Ms. Stephenson got away with violating hall pass rules, assembles a crack team of bounty hunters and tracks them down. Kyle joins him and they raid the hotel, spraying mace on pretty much everyone in sight.  

Ike and Ms. Stephenson hear this commotion and flee, and after a bear-mace-filled chase, everyone winds up on the roof. 

Realizing that their love will never be fully realized in this world, Ms. Stephenson plans to jump to her death with Ike.  But Kyle pleads with his brother to live his life, have fun, and then "ruin it by having a serious relationship."

Ms. Stephenson and Ike run hand-in-hand towards the edge and jump -- but Ike, at the last moment, changes his mind and runs to Kyle.  Ms. Stephenson falls to her death.  Cartman wraps things up by saying, "I hope you've learned, kids, that if you don't go with Christ, you could end up just like that splattered bitch down on the pavement."