Editing Japanese Toilet (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Full Description== When the toilet in the Marsh family's powder room stops working, [[Sharon Marsh]] orders [[Randy]] to get a new one. Though reluctant to part with "Ol' Blue", he goes to Home Depot, where he is intrigued by a Japanese toilet. Though Sharon is upset at its $10,000 cost, she too becomes enthralled by it. Randy calls his neighbors to brag about it, resulting in [[Stan]] being mocked at school. Randy tells Stan their family is akin to the Kennedy family of South Park and he is simply trying to open people's eyes, but Stan tells him that he is merely showing off. Randy's proctologist, Dr. Sheltiar, makes a house call to check on Randy's hemorrhoids, but when Randy states that he no longer has them on account of the level of cleanliness effected by his Japanese toilet, Dr. Sheltiar is angered because the lower amount of work caused by the devices will mean that he and his wife will not be able to vacation in Tuscany. Stan's classmate [[Jimmy Valmer]] points out that despite that 70% of the world does not use toilet paper, Americans use it excessively, putting a strain on the resources used to produce it. Jimmy asserts that Americans do not want to change their toilets and never will. Randy delivers a speech at city hall extolling the virtues of Japanese toilets, and says that the public does not need toilet paper any more, but he is shot by an unknown assassin, and left in a coma. Dr. Sheltiar takes people at Home Depot hostage at gunpoint, saying that he did not shoot Randy and fears he will be silenced like that second grader who wrote an exposé about toilets two years ago. Sheltiar is then shot dead, and Stan confronts Jimmy, realizing that he was who Sheltiar was talking about. Jimmy says after he wrote a story about toilets for the school newspaper, he was silenced by the corporations of the toilet paper industry because they have too much to lose if Americans stop using toilet paper. Stan decides to reveal this to the public with his own press conference, but Randy, cowed by his attempted assassination, shows up to abort this, telling the public that toilet paper is a great product, and Japanese toilets are unnecessary. He apologizes to the public, and then removes his Japanese toilet. Restoring Ol' Blue, he resolves not to take the common, non-luxury items his family has for granted. ===What I Learned Today=== * " I've come to realize that...When you have some big, nice luxury thing - it eventually just becomes normal. But you start comparing to all the other things in your life which suddenly feel you have to upgrade too. So... it's really best to just-- stick with the beat up, crappy old things we have. [[Randy]] ===Memorable Quotes=== * "I'm not Poor" - [[Randy]] * "Nu-uh I am like JFK because I am trying to change things!"- [[Randy]] * "I never realized you made so much money off my ass. Go on. GET. GET!" - [[Randy]] * "We're basically the Kennedys of South Park."- [[Randy]] * "You're mad." - [[Randy]] * "Tennish. Thousandish. Ten Thousandish." - [[Randy]] * "Stan, take my advice... DON'T. SQUEEZE. THE CHARMIN."- [[Jimmy]] * "You might be too scared Jimmy... But I'm a Marsh." - [[Stan]] * "We're not the god damn Kennedys Stan, stop being an idiot."- [[Randy]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)