Editing The Succubus (section)

==Story==
When Chef gets engaged, the boys become concerned of his different personality and his evil fiancee. Cartman suffers from vision problems.

===Description===
Cartman is forced to get enormous eyeglasses. Even worse, they're stapled to his head. Even worse than that, his ophthalmologist constantly makes fat jokes about him. Unsure about what to do, he and the other boys turn to Chef for advice. To their horror, they discover that their friend/spiritual advisor/life coach has a new girlfriend who's got him whipped. He's actually quit his job at the school cafeteria and signed on to work at an accounting firm. Unbelievably, the two even plan to marry. 

Running low on male role models, the kids ask Mr. Garrison what to do. He says that Chef's girlfriend, Veronica, is a succubus -- a female demon who sucks the life force from men. The boy's try to warn Chef to no avail. Instead they meet Chef's parents who are in town for the wedding.  The couple is from Scotland and they regale them with stories of their bizarre encounters with the Loch Ness Monster -- a monster who keeps asking them for "tree-fiddy" ($3.50).

After much study, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman (now temporarily blinded by botched laser eye surgery) learn that a succubus controls men's minds by relentlessly playing a particular song. In Veronica's case, she performs the song "The Morning After" from the film <i>The Poseidon Adventure</i>. On the bright side, playing the tune backwards can destroy the succubus. At Chef and Veronica's wedding, Cartman plays the song backwards while Stan and Kyle sing the reversed lyrics. The succubus goes berserk, kills Kenny and gets sucked back into hell. Chef becomes his old self again.

Cartman solves his vision problems by taking Kenny's head to the ophthalmologist so he can swap out his dead friend's eyes for his own. Mysteriously, just before the operation begins, the doctor asks Cartman if he has $3.50.

===What I Learned Today===
"Never let poontang come between you and your friends."

===Memorable Quotes===
* "Meaningless sex is fun for 20 or 30 years, but after that it starts to get old." ([[Chef]])
* "Women can kill. Poontang's expensive. That's why when it comes to chicks I just screw 'em and leave 'em." ([[Mr. Garrison]])
* "Well aren't you crackers just cute as the dickens." ([[Thomas McElroy]])
* "I ain't giving you no tree-fiddy you God damned Loch Ness monster!" ([[Thomas McElroy]])
* "How's my little piggy today?"  ([[Dr. Lott]])
* "Derp!"  ([[Mr. Derp]])
* "Bitch, I hate that bitch!"  ([[Eric Cartman]])
* "Ma'am, we're having a dude moment here, if you don't mind."  ([[Eric Cartman]])
* "Thanks for the news flash, Tom Brokow" ([[Eric Cartman]])
* "I wasn't sleeping, I was just thinking really hard." ([[Eric Cartman]])
* "She's a god damn succubus!!"  ([[Thomas McElroy]])