Editing Chef Aid (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story== After a huge loss in court, Chef is left penniless. The boys gather some very famous and talented people in the music industry who want to help their old friend. ===Description=== When Chef discovers that Alanis Morissette has turned "Sinky Britches", a song he wrote years ago into a famous hit, he approaches the record company about having his name listed as the composer. Instead the label hires celebrity lawyer Johnnie Cochran to sue Chef for harassment. Using the "Chewbacca Defense", Cochran wins damages of $2 million. If Chef doesn't pay within 24 hours he gets four years in jail. Chef decides to become a male prostitute, sleeping with all the women in town until he raises $2 million -- not to pay off the fine, but to hire Cochran to sue the record company on his behalf. On a different front, someone is making attempts on the "life" of Mr. Garrison's puppet, Mr. Twig. All evidence points to Mr. Hat. After several misadventures, Mr. Hat and Mr. Garrison the two reconcile and get back together. The boys also try to raise cash to help Chef. First they begin by selling candy to all of Chef's old rock star friends. Then they organize a benefit concert which consists of Cartman in lederhosen performing something called "The German Dance." Then Elton John and other performers show up and agree to put on a show for Chef. The show is sabotaged by a record company executive, but the event touches Johnnie Cochran who agrees to represent Chef for free. Using exactly the same tactics he employed the first time around, he gets the new jury to reach a completely different verdict. Chef gets his name on the album. ===What I Learned Today=== "Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who we love, it would be much simpler, but much less magical." ===Memorable Quotes=== * "If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!" ([[Johnnie Cochran]], a parody of his famous line "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit".) * "Well I'll be sodomized on Christmas!" ([[Chef]]) * "I'm afraid it's the big house for you, fruitcake." ([[Officer Barbrady]]) * "My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town." ([[Chef]]) * "You still aren't entertaining any ideas of raping me here in this prison cell, are you Chef?" ([[Mr. Garrison]]) Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)