Editing A Ladder to Heaven (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story== ===Description=== The boys win a candy store shopping spree, but they can't collect their prize without their half of a special ticket -- a ticket that was last in Kenny's possession. The problem is their friend Kenny is dead. They steal the urn containing Kenny's remains, but when they open it, it just looks like chocolate milk mix -- which Cartman promptly mixes with milk and drinks. Desperate to get the other half of the ticket, they decide to build a ladder to heaven to ask Kenny where he put the ticket. Their effort (which adults think is merely an attempt to reach their friend) soon draws national media attention. Military recon teams on the scene soon find what they believe to be "weapons of mass destruction" in heaven. They are being constructed by Saddam Hussein (whom we learn was secretly killed by the U.S. months earlier). A debate rages over whether we should bomb heaven to stop him. Cartman starts having flashbacks from Kenny's perspective and realizes he somehow consumed Kenny's soul when he drank his ashes. During one flashback, he sees that the ticket stub is hidden in a box in Kenny's room. The boys recover it, have their shopping spree, and tell the adults they're done with the ladder. The grownups, realizing they were idiots for thinking Saddam Hussein was in heaven building WMDs, give up too. The boys get on with their lives -- until they realize that Kenny's soul now shares Cartman's body. Meanwhile, in heaven, we see Saddam Hussein really is building weapons of mass destruction. ===What I Learned Today=== "Yeah, but now we think maybe heaven isn't a place you can get to. Maybe heaven is just an idea. A frame of mind, or something gay like that. Maybe heaven is this moment, right now." ===Memorable Quotes=== *"I'm checking for robot guards." [[Cartman]] * "Poor people don't have anything better to do than piss other people off! Don't you watch Springer?" [[Cartman]] *"Now that Americans believe in heaven, should we bomb it?" [[TV Reporter]] * "Are you high or just incredibly stupid?" [[UN Ambassador]] *"I assure you ,I am not high." [[George W Bush]] * "You bet your fat clown ass it is!" [[Cartman]] * "Hold on, I'm checking for robot guards." [[Cartman]] * "A ladder to heaven? That's fucking stupid." [[Mr. Garrison]] * "Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman, you'll fall off and break it!" [[Stan]] * "Aw, don't tell me we haven't even reached the cloud city yet!" [[Cartman]] * "Maybe we're not seeing heaven because one of us is a J-O-O." [[Cartman]] * "Did I just call myself a blood belching vagina?" [[Cartman]] * "You drank Kenny!" [[Stan]] * "If Saddam is building weapons, we have to stop him. With our weapons." [[Randy Marsh]] * "I've never heard the words 'only' and 'candy' in the same sentence before." [[Cartman]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)